1. It is not in the nature of a year 7 to hurt, or in any way abuse another year 7(unless Bede is involved in any way).

  2. Never leave your bag with Hasan, it will not go well.

  3. Those who pull Mateo's hair are doomed to die a most painful death.

  4. Donations of 18p towards the big one are holy.

  5. Omer and Luke are locked in an eternal feud and they will hate each other until the planet blows up, killing them both.

  6. It's pronounced dynasty not dynasty.

  7. It is impossible to conceal a big one.

  8. The words, "Wand" and "Willy" should be used in the place of each other, for example, "Harry waved his willy about and a thin, wispy white substance came out of the end.

  9. Mateo and Max will forever be at war due to the length of each other's hair.

  10. Mateo may or may not be an ewok but all evidence points to the former.Just please, for the love of Broadbent, don't tell him.

  11. Never insult Will's pear tree heritage. Never.

  12. Never poke the Omers when mad.

  13. Mateo may or may not get turned on by grannies.

  14. A man's lid is his most precious possesion.